Tesla Board: “Elon Musk, what did you do last week? Provide 5 bullets of what you accomplished last week within 5 days.”

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Final Up to date on: twenty sixth February 2025, 03:18 am

As you’ve got in all probability seen, Elon Musk, in his doubtful, probably unlawful, and never even official function as the pinnacle of a faux new authorities company, the Division of Authorities Effectivity (DOGE), has put out an ultimatum to federal staff throughout the US to reply on e mail with 5 issues they’ve completed prior to now week or they are going to be fired (nicely, a non-response can be thought of an official resignation). His plan is to make use of AI to overview the thousands and thousands of responses and determine whether or not individuals must be fired or not. Presumably, his group of 20- to 25-year-olds will implement this plan.

Musk has additionally been an adamant proponent of individuals having to work from an workplace setting, not from dwelling or some other place exterior of an organization’s or authorities company’s buildings.

The “funny” factor right here is that Elon Musk is a high govt at a number of firms, and he clearly doesn’t work from the workplace 5 days per week. The truth is, it appears extraordinarily unlikely that he’s working greater than half time even at Tesla, the place he’s CEO, not to mention on the different firms the place he has outstanding roles.

A bunch of readers commenting on my article “Tesla Stock Down 24% In Past Month — And Why?” pointed this out humorously by saying that the Tesla board ought to give Elon Musk the identical ultimatum he’s giving US authorities staff. They need to e mail him:

“Elon Musk, what did you do final week? Present 5 bullets of what you completed final week. If you don’t reply by the tip of the week, we’ll take that as an official resignation. And we don’t care how busy you might be hacking up the US authorities, we demand a passable response inside 5 days. Additionally, by the best way, you might want to report back to the workplace and work from Tesla places of work and factories 40 hours per week once more. The truth is, since you’re the highest paid CEO in historical past, we anticipate you to work 80 hours per week — and none of these will be from dwelling, from the White Home, or from US authorities buildings. Really, now we have motive to consider you’ve been fairly negligent of your duties at Tesla — which has been dropping gross sales quickly in latest months — and we could have a case to claw again a number of the billions of {dollars} you’ve been paid. On that matter, we’re monitoring your social media exercise, and we’ve observed that you simply’re tweeting 247 instances a day on common, and likewise routinely seem on Twitch and YouTube streams enjoying video video games. Really, we’ve obtained phrase that you simply’re a world-leading gamer in a few video video games, and we’d wish to know the way you made the time to spend so many hours per week enjoying these video video games.

“By the best way, with all of your time spent within the White Home currently, why are the president and Republicans in Congress repeatedly doing issues to harm EV adoption, EV infrastructure, and the US EV trade as an entire? Why is there an effort to drag authorities assist for Tesla’s battery manufacturing services, EV chargers, and shopper EV subsidies which have been important to Tesla’s income and earnings? That is fully in opposition to Tesla’s mission and our general enterprise pursuits.

“We anticipate a passable response to all of those issues inside 5 days, and we are going to use an AI system to guage your response and determine whether or not you might be nonetheless employed or fired at Tesla instantly.

“Moreover, assuming the entire above is carried out satisfactorily, now we have some pressing issues so that you can handle. We’re bleeding gross sales and receiving many emails and calls from former Tesla supporters — together with from longtime shareholders and multi-car patrons — who’re swearing off shopping for Tesla merchandise once more resulting from your lobbying for political events related to neo-Nazism and even performing an obvious Nazi salute (twice) on the inauguration of Donald Trump. Contemplating these points and your family’s deep ties to Nazism and apartheidwe want you to make some outstanding public statements clearly denouncing Nazism, hate for immigrants and minorities, and harassment of others. On a associated be aware, we want you to obviously state that Russia invaded Ukraine, and Ukraine didn’t begin the continuing warfare with Ukraine that has been occurring on Ukrainian soil. We’d like you to make clear that you don’t assist Donald Trump siding with Vladimir Putin over our allies in Europe.

“Lastly, we keep getting contacted by ladies who claim to be your baby’s mama, who are demanding paternity tests, who are demanding that you send child support payments, and who simply want you to spend some time with your offspring. Please sort out your personal affairs and keep this sh** separate from your work life.”